It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving and you know what that means— family drama. We all have difficult family members who really test our patience this time of year. It can be hard to keep your feelings under control and not get into arguments with others. I have been through my fair share of family drama and have definitely went off when mad but it doesn’t usually make me feel better (and tends to ruin the holiday vibe). There are some ways to help deal with difficult family to make this holiday a little easier for you.
Having a plan of what to do before hand can help reduce your dread and worry about what will happen (or what someone will say). Have an escape strategy, things to get you out of a bad conversation or excuses for talking a walk if needed. Write it down if you need to. Have someone in your family that can act as a buffer to difficult people you are trying to avoid. Maybe even have a code word when you have had enough and need to get out of there.
It is ok to limit your interactions with those who irk you without being rude. Having brief responses and using “I” statements can help. Think of “I” statements in this simple way: I feel/think ____ because ______. Try to avoid putting blame of ‘you make me so mad’ and ‘I only yelled because aunt Flo was being terrible’, etc. Instead try, “I was really hurt when it seemed like I wasn’t being included in the family picture”, “I felt disappointed when aunt Sue took the last piece of pie even though I had said during dinner I was excited to try it”, or “I was upset when I told you I have a new S.O and it felt like you didn’t care”.
There are plenty of things you can do to help get you through Thanksgiving dinner and all the other family things you might have planned in the next few weeks. Wishing you a relaxing holiday filled with warmth and delicious food. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!